These Clickbait Articles Are So Bad They'll Make You Cry
With a headline like that you had no choice but to click it so I’m happy you’ve fallen for the trap! Now that I have your attention, I want to talk about the increasingly weird world of online clickbait. Clickbait is internet content that’s main purpose is to attract attention and clicks to a certain webpage. Having worked for a time as a professional meme maker, I know what it takes to grab people’s attention on social media. One thing that I can’t help but notice over the last year or two however, is the levels that online publishers and even news websites will stoop to in order to rob us of a click.
In a time of “fake outrage” and “fake news”, it can be hard to wade through the nonsense and actually read genuinely entertaining or informative content. For those of us who are blissfully unaware of how major online publishers work, it’s a rather simple business model. You create content that grabs people’s attention and funnel them to your social pages and website. The more people you drive to your site, the more money you make from the display ads that are plugged into it. You can also make big money by leveraging a large engaged audience to negotiate sponsored content pieces and blogs.
Via: Psafe
With thousands of daily visitors required to keep these publishers profitable, it’s an intense environment where at times all that matters are the numbers. Whether people even read an article or enjoy it is regularly a secondary concern. This has led to what many describe as a factory line of “Churnalism” around subjects that are guaranteed to generate interest. Although this isn’t exactly a new practice, in the last few years with major platforms restricting the amount of content your fans see, it’s obvious to me that mainstream online publishers now spend the bulk of their time coming up with click worthy divisive spins on what they produce.
Much like video and picture content, they don’t just want you to just view what they create, they want you to comment on the social posts associated with their articles too. One clear way to do this is to steep their content and accompanying captions in blown up or even non existent controversies and drama. This gets the keyboard warriors typing and gives the content more online reach. How do I know this? Because I too fall for it multiple times a day. In this blog I’m going to dissect some of the worst clickbait examples I’ve seen lately. These are the kind of stories that have been fashioned out of nothing and served to you with a side of “caption sass” that will make you cry/angry/hate the world/get rich/get that beach body etc etc.
“People aren’t happy about…”
This is a modern clickbait technique that involves scouring popular hashtags and collecting the most negative tweets or comments associated with it. You can then say (because you have the evidence obviously) that people were “outraged at” or “are not happy with” a certain thing. It can work for anything from government announcements, celebrity interviews, holiday traditions or even the way someone uses a spoon.
I didn’t even click this one but I can only imagine
If there’s anything that’s gotten a large or small reaction online, you’d better believe there’s a poor intern somewhere collecting the most extreme reactions and thinking up an emotive caption to accompany the “article” that houses them.
Everything is an “attack”:
Anytime people on TV have a debate or disagreement this is neatly packaged as an “Attack”, “Bust Up” or “War of words”. If you sprinkle in a few side eye or fist emojis to the mix then it’s near impossible for people to keep scrolling by. These attacks usually consist of a running commentary of different pieces as both sides inevitably have “their say” on Twitter. The abbreviation of “In case you missed it” ICYMI will usually appear in captions to make you feel even more out of the loop. The Joe.co.uk article below illustrates this perfectly and just in case the blurry pictures weren’t enough, they’ve even gone to the trouble of circling David Jones sullen expression. This has all the elements of a juicy bit of clickbait and I was as disappointed as anyone else who fell for it - turns out it the attack was merely Souness moaning like a spoilt child.
Azealia Banksgate:
Back in January the clickbait Gods shone down on Ireland and the world as controversial pop star Azealia Banks took to her Instagram stories to “attack” (there’s that word again) not only Aer Lingus staff but “All Irish women”. She called them oompah loompah’s (I really enjoyed that) and suddenly everyone was circulating the story. Azealia having witnessed just how much coverage she was getting began fuelling it herself by dedicating a song at her Dublin gig to “all the beautiful Irish women” and responding to another Irish detractor on her Instagram with “don’t you have a famine to go die in”.
I don’t think any rational Irish person would take anything that the relatively unknown pop star had to say to heart but that kind of response just wouldn’t drive clicks. The nation was suddenly plunged into “Storm Azaelia”! Media publishers managed to produce a week long click fest of almost hourly articles about identity, race, the “treasonous” fans who still went to her gig and of course follow up pieces about why people who took real offence to her words should be more worried about the “real issues”.
The Unpopular Opinion
Another thing that I see publishers thrive on is the unpopular opinion piece to draw in a big reaction (and more importantly clicks) from the majority of their own audience. This would seem counter intuitive but in the world of clicks it makes perfect sense. They’ll re-examine your favourite programmes and tell you that it’s actually “problematic”, let’s not forget what they said about Friends, or worse deconstruct the latest critically acclaimed album, film or TV series and tell you why it’s not nearly as good as you think it is.
I’ve seen the likes of Vice do this countless times and even re-share the above article regularly since last summer. I haven’t seen the film myself, but I know from just how passionate people’s love for it is that this is a powerful “thumb stopper”.
The “PC Gone Mad" Piece
Publishers are fully aware of the growing feeling in recent years that the world has gone “PC mad”. Due to this, they latch onto the latest PC story to get people going. Whether it’s the issue of Mansize Tissues or Vegan Sausage rolls, they relish in stimulating both sides of the arguments to visit their website and get the latest update. One of these stories that got the attention of the nation online was when it was reported everywhere that the Irish health system (HSE) was considering “banning staff from referring to patients as dear or love”. As you can see from the below tweet, the story had been spun from only a half sentence from a 122 page report. In a world where people now sadly read past a headline, a 122 page report would be like tackling Ulysses!
With these sly methods of clickbait filling up our timelines each day, it’s hard not to exaggerate and even bend the truth when it comes to drafting blogs and driving clicks to your site. If you’re a brand or an individual producing written content, it’s now more important than ever to remember that quality content is the key to building a real following. Readers know within seconds if you’ve put the time, effort and genuine interest into a written piece and will build their impression of what you do off that alone.
Yes you’ll still need to draw them in with a snappy caption, but that doesn’t have to mislead them or give them inflated expectations for what lies behind their click. If you’re looking for help with creating your content marketing strategy, then get in touch and we can have a chat. You can also follow me on my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for future content.